I had a lovely email from a reader a while ago asking why I hadn’t posted for so long. Initially and instinctively I thought, “well, I don’t have much to say right now.” The truth, however, is that I did have something to say but I’m not sure I could have written a post at that time without it coming out as a rant. When I publish a blog post about an issue or a problem I think it’s best to leave the reader with some sort of resolve, a way out or forward. If I can’t I won’t write it… Maybe I should start a new ‘Rant’ category? Goodness! Can you imagine?! …I can and I think it’s safer to NOT go there.
Nothing much has been happening other than the usual family stuff, exams, kids on summer break etc. I thought there would be a wonderful change in my life this year, a change which would allow me to step back a touch from my daily duties and put a little more time into my creative thought process, writing and art. I waited and waited and I’ve come to the conclusion that – disappointing as it is – that change is not going to happen.
Writing is difficult if you don’t have a clear head. It takes time to get into the meditative state needed to inhabit, play back and rewind your narrative. The ability to see into the future of characters and events enough to use foreshadowing effectively can only be done in a state of flow.
What does a lack of time to write mean? For me it’s the supremely frustrating state of stillness; static and stagnant, lifelessness, the frozen sterility of inaction. THAT’S what gets to me and drives me (ever so slightly) insane.
On a positive note I do feel that when writing time presents itself I don’t just sit and stare at it. I use it. How wisely depends on my mood and the atmosphere in my environment but every scrap of time is used. I have to believe that even the smallest step forward is a move in the right direction otherwise I would feel permanently demoralised and defeated which simply can’t be allowed (see here and here).
As I say, atmosphere and environment are important, to this end I have taken a great little space in town to use as a studio (which is where I am now – yay!) to focus my attention. I love being here, I really do switch straight into work mode. So here’s the resolve: my two little angels/hooligans/lights-of-my-life are back at school which means that from 9.30 – 3pm I can get time to write. The caveat is that I have to get all my other appointments and jobs done to a schedule to allow the clear days. I see the end in sight for my book and I’m itching to finish so that I can; explore some new sci-fi angles, write new stories that keep popping into my mind, read and research scientific and cosmological developments to feed my imagination and (take a breath) get on with some artwork.
IMAGE: In the Hijinx studio and getting back to my old creative confident self